


The Bed

by not_the_marimba



Category: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 22:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_the_marimba/pseuds/not_the_marimba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott wants the bed for once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tali (aworldinside)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aworldinside/gifts).



“Wallace?”

“I’m watching TV.”

“Wallace.”

“Watching TV.”

“Wallace.”

“What part of ‘I’m watching TV’ doesn’t make sense to you?”

“Is there any chance you could stay at Other Scott’s tonight?”

Wallace mutes the TV and shifts to look Scott directly in the face. “No.” Shifting in his chair, he turns the sound back on.

“Wallace…”

“Why would I need to go stay at Other Scott’s?” He lowers the volume a bit, but he’s not going to mute it this time. Wallace will not lose this battle.

“Well, y’know, Ramona’s coming over for dinner. Again.” Scott looks inordinately pleased about this.

“And?”

“Well, I’m hoping that we’ll, uh, need the bed.”

Ah yes, the bed.

Wallace tends to blame the entire situation on the fact that he’s essentially the patron saint of long-suffering roommates. When they first moved in, it was that Scott hadn’t been able to borrow someone’s truck to transport his mattress. A week later, it was that he didn’t have time to get over there and pick it up because he’d finally gotten a job at the restaurant with Stephen Stills and he wanted to get on their good sides so he was going to pick up extra hours, and couldn’t Wallace just be happy for him that he was finally engaged in honest labor and would be able to chip in for rent again, and wouldn’t that be awesome? He might even buy groceries for once!

By the time the job had ceased to exist, the excuses had shifted to that it would be awkward for him to go try and get it from his old place after all this time, his old roommates had really liked Env—Nat—You Know Who, and had never treated Scott the same way since she’d dumped him, and then that he didn’t have money for a new one, and then that wouldn’t it just be easier for them to just keep sleeping in the same bed, it probably cut down on heating costs, he promised he’d go stay with someone else whenever Wallace needed the bed. Wallace finally agreed to it, if only because he was growing tired of waiting for another mattress to show up in the apartment. It also didn’t hurt that he wasn’t even sure where they would have put another bed in the flat. The place was tiny, after all.

And it did work in theory, for about a year. Scott was a man of his word, and whenever Wallace wanted the bed for Other Scott (or anyone else, for that matter) he’d clear off to stay with Stephen Stills and Young Neil, and it was appreciated. The actual sleeping together part occasionally had its downsides. Like the fact that Scott frequently woke up too early and started talking about whatever nonsense he’d been dreaming about, with no regard for the other occupants of the bed and that other people did, on occasion, really enjoy sleeping. Or that Scott did snore in a spectacularly loud fashion that often woke Wallace up in the small hours of the night, even though he had to be up at six to go to his horrible office job that, though boring as hell, paid the rent and kept Scott with a basement roof over his head and food to eat and a too-small awkward mattress to share with a gay man. Or that explaining to a guy he was about to sleep with that he did, in fact, normally share a bed with his roommate was horrifyingly awkward and had, on more than one occasion, killed his chances with them completely.

Theoretically, Scott had equal dibs on the bed from the few times he had forked over rent, but once the situation with Envy/Natalie/You Know Who had blown up, Wallace hadn’t had to worry about vacating the bed. It hadn’t like Scott was going to sleep with Knives (and if Scott had asked for the bed during that time period, Wallace might have actually said no. Even he has some moral standards) and Ramona had her own place. Wallace’s hegemony had pretty much been ensured.

“Based on past experience, I’m going to assure you that you won’t need it.” Wallace turns the volume back up.

“Please? Come on, when was the last time I asked you?”

“When was the last time you paid rent?” Hint: It was a very long time ago. Wallace once tried to calculate how much back rent Scott owed him. It made him feel physically ill. He also can’t remember the last time he saw Scott bring home groceries, or even clean anything, despite the fact that Scott must have truly ridiculous amounts of spare time.

“Oh come on. You know I’ll pay you back as soon as I get a job. Stephen Stills is going to put in a good word for me at that restaurant he works at.”

“Didn’t you get fired from there?”

“Yeah, but…”

“If you pay me rent tonight, you can have the bed tonight.”

“That’s not fair!” Scott slumps against the counter.

“How on earth is that not fair?”

“I’ve left for you more times than I can count!”

“It’s my bed, and I actually pay rent.”

“Wallace.” Scott’s fallen to his knees beside the counter. “Please. If you let me have the bed tonight I’ll never bother you for anything else ever again. Please.”

“I think you’re lying.”

“I’ll apply for a job at the video store with Kim.”

“I don’t think she’d let you.”

“I’ll clean the kitchen?”

“There we go.”

Scott is now engaged in what Wallace can only describe as a victory dance. “Yes!”

“When am I allowed to be back? Like midnight?”

“Can you wait until tomorrow morning? I think you sleeping there too might weird her out. At least the first time.”

“Fine. I think I can stay with Other Scott.”

“Wallace?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re the best.”

“I know. I'm a benevolent dictator.”

“I think the customary response is ‘thank you’.”

“You’re not such a terrible person yourself. Aside from the whole cheating-on-a-terrifyingly-naïve-high-school-student thing.”

“…Thanks. I think.”

Wallace turns the TV volume back up.


End file.
